Why Do Men Ask if I’m Dating Other People

Why Do Men Ask if I’m Dating Other People

Mario, why do men ask if I’m dating other people? After our consultation, things have been very busy, and when asked, I told all three guys I was dating other people. Now, they routinely ask me if I’ve met anyone new or if I’ve been on a date with another guy. Why are they asking me that? I’m pretty sure they don’t really want the answer lol. I do tell them when they ask, “Yes, I’m dating other people.”

(Brutal honesty, a Get Game Group Principle)

Note About this Female Client

This client has extremely high “masculine” energy. Everyone has masculine energy, both male and female. However, I’ve identified hers as “above average” compared to other women, and sharing this insight helped her understand why she doesn’t go for most (weaker, less masculine) men. My advice to her was to acknowledge this masculinity, but that it would mean she would be attracted to and better make lasting connections with men with “above average” masculinity. In other words, she can’t stand pussies, and even though she’s got a lot of masculine energy, she will need a man with even more masculine energy to allow her to comfortably embrace and settle into her feminine energy, which she enthusiastically agreed she desires to. She just can’t with most men (which includes the “below average” and “average” masculinity grouping).  

GetGameGuy Answers, “Why do men ask if I’m dating other people?”

GetGameGuy: First, a bit of backstory. This client came to me initially struggling with Online Dating. After a couple consultations and a dating profile makeover, she’s obviously now kicking ass with Online Dating. She’s shifted from a place of scarcity to abundance. And the more successful she’s become, the more men are attracted to her. I like to tell my clients, “When it rains, it pours.”)

Wow, three guys asking if you’re dating other people! You are obviously doing many things right! So you understand, any man that asks you this question is showing his hand. He’s removing the mystery and directly expressing his interest you. Kind of good, kind of bad. This early in any developing relationship, it’s a display of weakness.

There is no way you have spent enough time with any of those men for them to expect you to be acting as if you’re in a committed relationship. You’ve only met them (maybe) a few times. Yes, women are typically the first to voluntarily act as if committed, but it’s not actually an expectation a man should have, nor this soon. Until the two of you have an official conversation about “What are we doing here?” And, “Do you want to make our relationship exclusive?” you don’t owe anyone anything.

Often, men receive the reward of women who fall into this “exclusivity” behavior after sex, or perhaps, they think they are getting exclusivity! You, however, are demonstrating such improved social savvy and dating confidence unlike many women (with less “Game”). You have no qualms about dating, or even sleeping with, multiple men. Good for you! Men do it all the time. Women can, and should, too.

You’re so comfortable in your lifestyle, that, remember I told you that you needed an extra masculine man to deal with your higher masculine energy? Well, it’s seemingly reversing roles. These three men are all acting with higher feminine energy, passively expressing possessive, jealous, and insecure behaviors that would traditionally be expected out of women.

I’m glad you answered their questions honestly. Because your honest truth holds no shame. You’re right that they may not actually want to hear the answer. Usually when I’m asked these prodding questions so early in my interactions with women, I joke or playfully downplay that they are asking me relationship/girlfriend questions. Without directly saying it, I’m telling them, “Hold your horses, what are we? Do I owe you any exclusivity or commitment? Am I missing some conversation we had about exclusivity or commitment??” So it gives them a chance to back off. Additionally, I will remind them, “I’m totally honest, just don’t ask questions if you can’t handle the honest answers.”

While you may not prevent each man from asking you “Are you dating other people?” You’re always going to be on the right path when you tell them the truth. But, how much of the truth you tell them is up to you, and what you deem appropriate. Your response, “Yes, I’m dating other people” is great! Much better than someone saying, “Yes, I’m dating other people, and of those I’m dating, I’m having sex with two other guys. In fact, I had sex with one of them last night.”

WAY TOO MUCH TRUTH!!!

So well done with being honest, because you have nothing to apologize for.

If you indeed need an extra masculine energy from a man as we’ve discussed…what does this behavior of asking about other men demonstrate? The strength you need? Or…does it display weakness, insecurity, and (immaturely) their level of interest in you? So instead of asking me, “Why do men ask if I’m dating other people?” ask yourself, “Do I want a man who asks me this question?”

My thoughts are that the guy you will be interested in, long-term, would be the guy that never asks you if you’re seeing someone else, or have met someone else. He’s socially aware you’re a woman with options. He’s socially aware that until you discuss commitment and exclusivity that you are free to do whatever you want. He’s socially aware that you have options, and that if he wants to change your lifestyle, that he will have to step up with his actions. The extra masculine man you will desire will be so strong within, that he won’t ask you insecure questions pleading for the validation of being your only one. He will be so strong and complete, he won’t need your validation. And he will be so strong and complete, he will know he’s enough if and when you two ever discuss becoming exclusive.

-Mario